Of Peter and of Lucy

When Peter say him, he said to Jesus, "Lord

what about this man?" Jesus said to him,

"....what is that to you? You follow me.

John 21:21,22

I love Peter. I am so like him. He is standing in the presence of God, and he is worrying about the other guy. The youngest Pevensie in C.S. Lewis's Prince Caspian has a similar experience. More than any other scene in the Narnia series, this stands out to me.

Lucy was the first in Narnia, and in this return trip (the last she and all three of her siblings will make together) she is the only one who can see Aslan, who is trying to direct the children a different, quicker route. Lucy gets bullied into ignoring her feelings about things by her older siblings, until she finds Aslan on her own, at night, after her siblings are asleep. This is her encounter with Aslan (the lion King of Narnia, the depiction of Christ)

...And the next thing she knew was that she was kissing him and putting her arms as far round his neck as she could and burying her face in the beautiful silkiness of his mane.

"Aslan, Aslan. Dear Aslan," sobbed Lucy.

"At last."

The great beast rolled over on his side so that Lucy fell, half sitting and half lying between his front paws. He bent forward and just touched her nose with his tongue. His warm breath came all around her. She gazed up into the large wise face.

"Welcome child," he said.

For a time she was so happy that she did not want to speak. But Aslan spoke.

"Lucy," he said, "we must not lie here for long. You have work in hand, and much time has been lost today."

"Yes, wasn't it a shame?" said Lucy. "I saw you all right. They wouldn't believe me. They're all so--"

From somewhere deep inside Aslan's body there came the faintest suggestion of a growl.

"I'm sorry," said Lucy, who understood some of his moods. "I didn't mean to start slanging the others. But it wasn't my fault anyways, was it?"

The Lion looked straight into her eyes.

"Oh, Aslan," said Lucy. "You don't mean it was? How could I - I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that... oh well, I suppose I could. Yes, and it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good?"

Aslan said nothing.

"You mean," said Lucy rather faintly, "that it would have turned out all right - somehow? But how? Please Aslan! Am I not to know?"

"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan? "No. Nobody is ever told that."

"Oh dear," said Lucy.

"But anyone can find out what will happen," said Aslan. "If you go back to the others now, and wake them up; and tell them you have seen me again; and that you must all get up at once and follow me - what will happen? There is only one way of finding out."

"Do you mean that is what you want me to do?" gasped Lucy.

"Yes, little one," said Aslan.

"Will the others see you too?" asked Lucy.

"Certainly not at first," said Aslan. "Later on, it depends."

"But they won't believe me!" said Lucy.

"It doesn't matter," said Aslan.

Am I not Peter? And Lucy? For too, too long - caught in the fear of not wanting to be used by God, because I do not want to stand out. And what is true about both situations - the "other guy" is a believer as well. Lucy knows she will get flack from her older siblings, who also know and love Aslan. Peter wants to know why he has to die some horrid death, but John may not have to. IT'S NOT FAIR!!! we cry. God, if you are going to use me, do I have to go it alone? Why use me? The heart's cry is not always that of Isaiah "Here am I, send me!" Nor that of Samuel "Speak, LORD, for your servant hears." Sometimes it is the scared voice of Lucy, or the questioning voice of Peter.

But my heart is learning to believe with Lucy - "it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with You." May I be willing to surrender all, every day! And not only that - but to see the glorious truth of Isaiah:

"So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11

Not only am I not responsible for the results - but God is not going to ask obedience from me that will not bring about results that glorify and magnify Him. May I give up the fear of man! And pursue, passionately, the voice of God. As by faith I step out, leave the "what about hims?" behind, and instead say "Here am I, SEND ME!"